3 Months, 1 Week...New Pants?
Ok, let me begin by apologizing to Bouff.
Sorry cupcake. Hopefully we can still share a bed.
I'd elaborate, but I'd rather let the mystery intrigue the reader, and maybe I'll get a question from someone, and I can go make up a story about why I owe Bouff an apology.
Anyway, this week, no major milestones to talk about. My belt continually gets smaller, and with that comes...you guessed it smaller trousers. My 48's are getting too large, and it's time to go down, possibly 2 more sizes. Which would be f'n sweet, because seriously, I ahven't been that pant size since 11th grade. Yeah, I was always a big boy. When I was a child, they called me "husky". I always hated that term. Honestly, why compare a plump beautiful, intelligent, handsome lil boy to a multi-eye-colored dog? There should be some more straightforward terms to describe that a boy's larger than others. As larger men, we have "Casual Male, Big & Tall" stores. Why for young boys, don't we have a kid equivolent of Casual Male? What would it be called? I believe it'd be called "Pudgykins, Fat & Hairless". They'd sell tshirts that just allow the belly to hang out...juuuuust a lil, and have sayings on them like "Johnson Elementary School Hot Dog Contest Winner" or "I take your kids lunch money...for more lunch" or something like that. Maybe even, "When I get your daughter pregnant, our kids gonna be fat too". I don't know, I'm not a designer.
So, since I don't weigh myself, and I just judge how much weight I lost by visual assesment. I've begun getting a lil crazy with "What's shrinking/growing where." I already told you all about the junk, so I'm not going to elaborate any longer on that...because well...it doesn't belong on here. But I can tell you, I feel like a black man. Just kidding, I can still get cabs and I haven't been arrested yet. What I can tell you is that my fingers...what I've been referring to as "my lil breakfast sausages" for years, are beginning to...become more look less Jimmy Dean sausage like. I'm pretty sure my pointer finger is longer and thinner, I wish I took a picture of my hands...maybe I will next week, before I commit myself in a mental home.
But as of now, things are going good. Steak, pork, chicken and fish, my weekly dinner plan. Of course, the standard "chicken and lettuce" lunch, which eventually will force me to beat up one of the annoying Asian ladies whom it takes hours to decide which piece of lettuce is the good one. I just want to scream "You buy now!!!" every time her 3 1/2 foot ass gets in front of me. NAAATURE!! I'm about 98% sure that Angela's over 90lbs lost now, so yeah...that's still freaking amazing. And if Angela's lost that much, I'm going to only assume, because I'm a MAN, that I've lost at least 800 lbs, with my testosterone and shit. (just incase you're trying to do the math, I'd be approximately -500 lbs) Nah, you know me, I don't want to keep track of pounds, I'll just get depressed about how big I was, and all the shit I missed. So yeah, size 44 waist, here I comes. See you next week.
Sorry cupcake. Hopefully we can still share a bed.
I'd elaborate, but I'd rather let the mystery intrigue the reader, and maybe I'll get a question from someone, and I can go make up a story about why I owe Bouff an apology.
Anyway, this week, no major milestones to talk about. My belt continually gets smaller, and with that comes...you guessed it smaller trousers. My 48's are getting too large, and it's time to go down, possibly 2 more sizes. Which would be f'n sweet, because seriously, I ahven't been that pant size since 11th grade. Yeah, I was always a big boy. When I was a child, they called me "husky". I always hated that term. Honestly, why compare a plump beautiful, intelligent, handsome lil boy to a multi-eye-colored dog? There should be some more straightforward terms to describe that a boy's larger than others. As larger men, we have "Casual Male, Big & Tall" stores. Why for young boys, don't we have a kid equivolent of Casual Male? What would it be called? I believe it'd be called "Pudgykins, Fat & Hairless". They'd sell tshirts that just allow the belly to hang out...juuuuust a lil, and have sayings on them like "Johnson Elementary School Hot Dog Contest Winner" or "I take your kids lunch money...for more lunch" or something like that. Maybe even, "When I get your daughter pregnant, our kids gonna be fat too". I don't know, I'm not a designer.
So, since I don't weigh myself, and I just judge how much weight I lost by visual assesment. I've begun getting a lil crazy with "What's shrinking/growing where." I already told you all about the junk, so I'm not going to elaborate any longer on that...because well...it doesn't belong on here. But I can tell you, I feel like a black man. Just kidding, I can still get cabs and I haven't been arrested yet. What I can tell you is that my fingers...what I've been referring to as "my lil breakfast sausages" for years, are beginning to...become more look less Jimmy Dean sausage like. I'm pretty sure my pointer finger is longer and thinner, I wish I took a picture of my hands...maybe I will next week, before I commit myself in a mental home.
But as of now, things are going good. Steak, pork, chicken and fish, my weekly dinner plan. Of course, the standard "chicken and lettuce" lunch, which eventually will force me to beat up one of the annoying Asian ladies whom it takes hours to decide which piece of lettuce is the good one. I just want to scream "You buy now!!!" every time her 3 1/2 foot ass gets in front of me. NAAATURE!! I'm about 98% sure that Angela's over 90lbs lost now, so yeah...that's still freaking amazing. And if Angela's lost that much, I'm going to only assume, because I'm a MAN, that I've lost at least 800 lbs, with my testosterone and shit. (just incase you're trying to do the math, I'd be approximately -500 lbs) Nah, you know me, I don't want to keep track of pounds, I'll just get depressed about how big I was, and all the shit I missed. So yeah, size 44 waist, here I comes. See you next week.
