Fearsome Ghosts and Firey Crosses
October 31, 2007
Dedham, Massachusetts
(Tawney Yousef (right) Reporting.)
The doorbells rang, and the air was thick with joy from the trick or treaters in this small town of Dedham, MA. Little zombies, ghouls and ghosts ran ramped through the streets. Innocent people answering the door, only to be greeted by a terrifying monster, which they then have to bribe with candy so they do not devour their soul. There was one such costume that had the whole town talking. Little Robbie Tottelheim, startled so many people, they bribed him with 4 full trash bags of candy. A ghost, a simple white sheet so flowing, so bright, that it was declared, by some, “the best costume they have ever seen, ever.”
When asked about his costume, lil Robbie seemed a bit confused. “I’m not a ghost, I’m an anti-semetic, racist grand wizard!” Sure Robbie, maybe next year you can be a wizard, but this year, you’re the most lovable ghost on the block. Approaching Robbie’s father for questioning, we had to avoid his big display of Halloween decorations, consisting of people hanging from trees, a pumpkin, and 5 flaming crosses. When asked what he thought of his sons costume, he replied “the boy’s made me a proud daddy” then immediately whipped out a fully automatic rifle and pointed it at our cameraman (Ray “RayRay” Johnson) and said “Your kind ain’t welcome round here.” We all laughed, (except for RayRay, who quickly made his way back to the news van) and began asking their neighbors what made this costume so amazing.
"Ghosts are usually scary, but this one made me wet my pants” said neighbor, Denise Keith. Truly a perfectly white sheet, draped over his small skinny, malnourished, corpse like frame, combined to make the hair on peoples necks stand on end. A few houses down, we asked Matthew Graham what he thought of Robbie the ghost. “Robbie ain’t no dang ghost. He’s the grand wizard, helping make this town the whitest of em all!” As he raised his half empty Coors Light can in the air, we couldn’t help but agree, that Robbie was in fact making this town realize just how scary and white you can be. This is Tawny Yousef signing off.
