The Eagle's 2006 top ten moments.
The Eagle doesn't do interviews as we all know. But lucky for you, he does do countdowns. Who knew?! So, I met someone who said that he saw the Eagle talking to the guy at the convenience store down the street. I went and interviewed the convenience store clerk, and only saved the important stuff. So without any further ado, here's the "Cliff notes" version of my interview with the clerk about The Eagles top 10.
Me - Hi, I've come here to find out what The Eagle's top 10 for 2006 consisted of.
Clerk - I'm glad you've come here....{{edit for entertainment value}} Then after 6 straight days of working, I got a day off {{edit}} So, I had a baaaaaaaad omelette {{edit}} Finally, The Eagle walks in wearing his usual Eagle shawl.
Me - That's a trademark right there.
Clerk - What?
Me - Nothing. C'mon top 10, chop chop.
Clerk - He begins telling me that he has a top 10 list for just about everything, so I asked him if he could ramble off a couple of top 10's. So he wrote them out on the back of this lottery ticket using one of those big permanent markers.
Me - How'd he fit them all on one slip?
Clerk - He's The friggen Eagle man. So here's his first list. (I grab the "list") it read:
Top 10 Favorite times I had a cigarette this year.
10. After I saved those hostages, while I was still brushing my teeth.
09. Right after I had my first Gingerbread Coffee.
08. Before I went and saved all of those people when that crazy baseball player smashed into that apartment complex.
07. After Marc Lehane became a dad.
06. When I found out there was going to be a George Strait best of album.
05. When I found out there was going to be a live action Transformers.
04. As soon as I figured out how to fix that takeover in Somalia. (which I did)
03. Every time Bush said "nucular"
02. That time I nailed that chick.
01. When that French soccer player headbutted that guy, and knocked him the F out.
Clerk - That's not it, there's another side to that.
Me - Shut up, there's another side to your mother. Her backside. And if you don't want me visiting it, you'll just give me the list.
Top 10 Ladies I Spent Quality Time with, or "QT" as I call it.
10. Selma Hayek
09. Steve-O
08. D-Nice Hart
07. That chick, I can't remember her name...from Springfield....remember, I talked about her ealier...eh, well her.
06. Convenience store clerks wife.
05. Charro
04. Britney Spears cesarian scar.
03. Jessica Alba
02. Anne Hathaway
01. Merideth Baxter-Birney
Clerk - Well, there's more lists, and let me tell you about the {{edit}} and naked TOO! {{edit}} The athiest hating monkeys stole {{edit}}
Me - You know what, how about I just get going and give up this year. Ok?
Clerk - You could hang out you know. I don't have many friends and {{edit}} YOU'RE A JERK!!! GET OUT OF HERE!!
